Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
