Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
