At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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