She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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