She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
