ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
