Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
