Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
