I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
