I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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