party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
