I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
