I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
