Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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