I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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