I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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