i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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