I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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