Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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