Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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