her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
