are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
