My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
