How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
