The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
