just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
