Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
