I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
