No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
