The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
