I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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