i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
