Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
