do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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