her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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