There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
