I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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