a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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