come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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