6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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