Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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