btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
