she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
