In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
