im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
