just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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