Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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