Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
