My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
