i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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