I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
