i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
