I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
