I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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