Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
it was like eating out sand paper
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
