Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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