dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
