How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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