So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
