I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
