he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
